Two Crazy Lawsuits Filed Against Kim Kardashian and Family

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Two brand new lawsuits that were filed in West Virginia are asking for restraining orders against Kim Kardashian. The first of the two lawsuits is as shocking as it gets. The first lawsuit claims that Kim, former husband Kris Humphries, and his current girlfriend Myla Sinanaj held a man captive at gunpoint in their hotel room. While the man was held captive he was forced to watch the three of them have sex for five hours. The hotel room also featured barnyard animals and a unicorn, according to the lawsuit.

The second lawsuit was filed by plaintiff ‘Jonathan Kimberly’ who was trying to get some sleep but the noise coming from the hotel room next to his, which was room #69, was too loud. “I heard a bunch of banging, and sounds of sheep,” the suit reads. Kimberly went next door to ask the occupants to lower the noise but was able to see through the peephole that Kim, Kris Humphries and Myla Sinanak were in the room making a sex tape as “sheep, two goats, and a unicorn” watched. Kimberly claims he saw an E! logo on the camera and that Kim was injecting steroids into the arm of Humphries saying, “I’m going to juice you up baby for the Nets season.” Sinanaj was “bobbing her head up and down with a voodoo doll in her hand and rosary beads.”

  

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After Kimberly shouted into the room that he was trying to sleep, things took an interesting turn. The lawsuit states the following:

“Kris went irate on steroid rage, ripped the door open, dragged me into the room, put a shot gun to my head that he got from Nets player Jayson Williams, and forced me to watch the 3 defendants have sex with one another for 5 hr’s against my will…. Myla hit me with RC Cola can. Kimberly forced me to watch E! network Keeping Up With the Kardashian reruns on the hotel tv for 6 more consecutive hr’s, I defecated on myself, barnyard animals snipped at my feet, Chris is laughing at me like the Jolly Green Giant.”

Kimberly then “told Kim she is deceiving the public and lying in her divorce,” said:

“Then a knock on the door, Kim Kardashian opened and it was Charlie Sheen who had a bag full of ecstasy and set [sic] ‘Lets get this party started.’”

The second lawsuit claims that a man from Brooklyn ‘stumbled upon’ Kim, Kanye West, Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, Khloe Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian at a training camp in West Virginia for Al Qaeda. At the camp the group burned the American flag and West performed a concert for the terrorists in attendance. The lawsuit claims the following:

“They all drank Jim Jones juice and then the defendants got shovels and were digging coal and fracking at mines in West Virginia to get fuel to make weapons of mass destruction and Kris Jenner was enriching uranium,” the suit said. The plaintiff in the lawsuit was Gino Romano, who claims that all of the Kardashian earnings are being sent to Al Qaeda. The lawsuit also claims that West is the head of the street gang El Rukn from Chicago. The lawsuit also says that Kim Kardashian will be launching a line of veils for her clothing line. Romano claims that Khloe Kardashian tried to behead him.

The suit from Romano claims that he lives in Philadelphia and New York, which leads many to believe that Romano and Kimberly are the same person and the names are pseudonyms used by Jonathan Lee Riches. Riches was named “Guinness World Record holder for ‘Most Litigious Man’ after filing more than 5,000 suits over the past eight years.”