State Department Denies U.S. Secret Plans to Invade Canada

The United States’ longstanding lust to invade Canadian soil won’t be realized — yet. During a press conference, State Department Spokeswoman Victoria Nuland was quizzed by a journalist regarding a seemingly covert meeting of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Mexico Foreign Minster Patricia Espinosa on Tuesday. The mysterious “signing ceremony” led to some (seemingly) teasing speculations.

Reporter: What is this signing ceremony? What are they signing, and why isn’t that open?

Ms. Nuland: I don’t know the answer to that, Matt. I think it’s an update on Merida, but I will get that for you.

Reporter: Is — I know that this is not some —

Ms. Nuland: I know you did ask us —

Reporter: Yes, exactly. This isn’t some secret thing —

Ms. Nuland: Yeah. No, it’s —

Reporter: — to invade Canada or something like that? (Laughter)

MS. NULAND: No, no, no. It’s not anything classified.

Alas, the massive plans to make a counterpart to the European Union with a North American consolidation of Canada, Mexico, and the U.S. must wait for a more opportune moment.

It’s been quite a while since America has done any expansion of its land mass. Whatever happened to Manifest Destiny? It seems most Americans feel the U.S. is big enough, and can even name certain cities and states they wouldn’t mind seceding from the union. Nevertheless, there is at least one website who is taking the prospect seriously. http://www.invadecanada.us/