Wedding are a time of festivities, emphasizing family togetherness, group solidarity, the celebration of friends on the vows of love shared by a couple freshly bound in mutual loyalty. So, um – what if the bride’s a bitch? Say it’s one of these people like they show on Bridezilla where they storm and moan because some guest didn’t dress well enough, or the music wasn’t perfect, or whatever else. Does that bode poorly for the marriage? Certainly it’s not a good way to win friends and influence people. Consider this email the Huffington Post received about a bride belittling a guest for giving only $100 as a wedding gift:
Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.
Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: “Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike’s and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn’t expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you’ll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything.” [all sic]
It’s infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn’t show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn’t grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it…or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them.
Weddings are by nature expensive; putting on a ceremonial feast of course costs a lot of money. But to single out a guest for gifting too little smacks not only of ingratitude, but disrespect for the friendship. Beginning a marriage with disputes over such petty matters does not bode well, at least, for the husband involved, assuming he wasn’t in on the attack. Such behavior might be classy enough to make it on reality television shows that seek out extreme cases, like Bridezilla, but we wouldn’t expect such behavior in real life.