Each Monday, our team of sports analysts will review some of the best football matches of the weekend, and offer insight and analysis on performances and prospects for the rest of the season.
Kansas City 17, Dallas 16
Chiefs’ coach Andy Reid, in the visage of a young Santa Claus, managed to lead his squad to their second straight victory of the season. The Chiefs are now undefeated, and if they can keep up their current pace they will never lose another game again.
Buffalo 24, Carolina 23
In what very well may end up being a Super Bowl preview for the year 2034, the Bills managed to sneak away with a win in this one. Panthers QB Cam Newton was in the bathroom when Bills WR Stevie Johnson tucked the win in his pants pocket and covertly exited the stadium.
Denver 41, New York Giants 23
The return of RB Brandon Jacobs to the Giants was only overshadowed by the return of sloppy football and multiple turnovers by the rest of the Giants offense. Denver TE Julius Thomas proved to the critics that he is a tight end in the NFL who plays for the Broncos.
Oakland 19, Jacksonville 9
With so many high first round picks playing for both of these squads, this game came down to which coach could underutilize that talent best. In the end, it was Jacksonville who accomplished the feat by giving Chad Henne the football and telling him to throw it.
Miami 24, Indianapolis 2o
In a battle of first round quarterbacks, Ryan Tannehill proved to the world that he is a better player than Andrew Luck and always will be. This is the 14th win in Dolphins franchise history since going 16-0 back in 1972.
Arizona 25, Detroit 21
New Cardinals’ QB Carson Palmer is showing shades of 2008 Carson Palmer mixed with late 2011 Carson Palmer. But rumor has it that 2010 Carson Palmer and 2012 Carson Palmer are eager to reclaim the field and wreak havoc on the NFL once again. Cardinals’ all-pro team psychiatrist Dr. Shevin Williams has put Palmer on a new regiment of antipsychotics to help stabilize the quarterback.
New Orleans 16, Tampa Bay 14
Bucs QB Josh Freeman did not win the game, but we thought we tried his best and boy did he look like a pro doing it. He didn’t let his poor play affect his charming attitude and brilliant smile; and his maneuvering in the pocket was reminiscent of an elegant gazelle traversing through a thorny brush. We all like Josh Freeman very much over here.