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During a press conference about the problems with the roll-out of the health care website, President Obama shocked the nation by taking personal responsibility for the government’s failure to have the site operational by its self-imposed deadline.
“We fumbled the roll-out of this health care law,” he admitted to a national audience, including all of the major American media outlets.
Dr. Robert Woods, a professor of political science at Ole Washington University, says that the move is unprecedented in the history of American politics.
“This is unbelievable…maybe one of the most dangerous moves in the history of our nation’s government,” he said.
“While there have been instances of politicians apologizing for a problem or mistake, never ever has an American leader taken responsibility for such an error. How could someone get reelected if the nation thinks they are less than perfect?”
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Harry Reid, the Senate Majority leader, was at a loss for words following the President’s speech according to those around him.
“I can’t believe he just did that. I…I’m stunned. Did he really just say that he deserves blame for the health care rollout? This is madness!” he reportedly said to a member of his staff.
“At least blame the environment, or God, or something! How is he going to blame himself for this thing? We are [expletive] screwed!”
Owen Starr, a political strategist for the Tea Party, was also shocked by the President’s decision. He says it goes against fundamental principles of American politics.
“Americans don’t want leaders who make mistakes. They much prefer pretending that the people they elect are capable of perfect decision-making and action.”
House Speaker John Boehner, who has opposed the health care program from the very beginning, applauded the President for being honest in a press conference of his own.
“I admire that President Obama went out there and said that the technical problems are his fault, because they are,” he said to a group of reporters and some neighboring squirrels.
“Some people [gestures to himself] actually care about the American people, and thus would never make a mistake that puts their well-being in jeopardy. I know that if myself or any of my other Republican colleagues were to ever make a mistake, we would do everything in our power to make sure no else finds out,” he said.
“Either that, or we’ll blame the President. Both are fine options.”
Note: This article is satirical and does not reflect factual reporting.
