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People spend a lot of time these days worrying over what others think of them. Maybe this isn’t new, but it’s certainly not the best way to go about life. Yes, it’s important to treat other people well and of course we all enjoy being liked, but when your choices, from small to big, are dictated by the impression you might leave on others, then that’s a problem.
I know I’ve written about comparison before – how I used to care so much about what other people thought of me – but I have learned over this past year how important it is to focus on myself and my journey. A friend of mine last night talked about how she is very frustrated with her job search and how she had no idea that this would be her timeline (aka still not having a job after almost a year of searching – sound familiar?!).
It made me think of myself and how in almost a month it will be a year from when I graduated law school. A year ago I would have been humiliated if you told me I still didn’t have a job – I’d make up excuses about the job market, about how much time I had, or how my field is “specialized.” But why should I have to justify my path to anyone?
I know that this past year has been teaching me so much about what’s important in life and who is in control of my life. Even if you aren’t religious or don’t believe in God, we all need to remember that life isn’t about how fancy your job is, or at what age you’re married and have children, or how many marathons you can run or weights you can deadlift.
Think about the things that truly matter to you, about the person you want to be, what you want to accomplish in your life and the impact you want to leave on this world. Then go for that. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you – it’s not their life.
Back in January I came across this post called 18 Things Women Shouldn’t Have To Justify and I’ve been wanting to do my own version ever since, so I’ve come up with 6 Things You Shouldn’t Have To Justify:
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1. Your Faith – no matter what your beliefs are, you shouldn’t have to defend them or justify them to anyone else. Faith is a very personal thing that is great to share, but never feel as though you should justify it to someone else.
2. How You Feel – did something upset you? Are you in a bad mood today? Do you miss someone? Are you so excited about something? Your feelings are uniquely yours and you should never have to hide them because you’re afraid of what other people might think.
3. What You Eat – Are you vegan? Do you love a good steak and prefer meat every day? Do you avoid dairy, gluten, or sugar, or do you enjoy all of the above? Do you prefer 3 big meals, or lots of snacks? As long as you’re true to your body and your health, you shouldn’t need to explain your eating habits to anyone else.
4. Your Job – do you work a job that you don’t like just to pay your bills and enjoy your free time? Do you have a job that you love but doesn’t pay much or seem “successful?” Do you have a big-shot corporate job that does pay a lot and sounds “successful?” We all make our own choices career-wise and do the best we can do, don’t worry about someone else judging your path.
5. Your Dress Size – are you teeny tiny despite eating a healthy diet? Are you plus-size? Are you tall and athletically built, or short and petite? You were made to the person and shape that you are, don’t worry about fitting into a mold or looking like all of your friends – embrace you.
6. Your Workout Routine – do you love long distance running, or prefer weight training? Do you like HIIT cardio or relaxing yoga and walking? Or do you hate the gym and get your exercise walking through the shopping mall? As long as you are healthy and happy, that’s what matters – don’t get sucked into the newest trend, figure out what works for you.
I could go on and on and on – how young or old you get married, whether or not you want kids, if you love to travel or never leave your hometown, how you spend or save your money, etc. Every choice you make should be based on what you want for your own life and who you want to be. So be you, do you, and don’t let other people dictate your life.
Do you worry too much about what other people think of you?
Do you make life choices based on how you might “appear” to others?
