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Nicolas Cage can smell the employment. Photo courtesy of Moviefone.
Summary: These job applicants know how to write stand out cover letters and resumes.Â
We’ve already heard the rumors that robots are going to take over our jobs in the near future. However, until that happens, we’re all still going to apply for jobs like the putzes that we are! That means of course, getting our resumes in tip top shape and writing the best cover letters our prospective companies have ever seen!
The following are some of the best (i.e. worst) cover letters and resumes ever published on the internet. Not only do they give us a good glimpse of what not to do, but we can marvel that this is who we’re competing against for jobs. Enjoy.
THE EXTREMELY OVERQUALIFIED APPLICANT
Having a law degree means diddly when you’re applying to shave meats and cheese at the local deli counter, so word to the wise. Don’t include your fancy credentials or even bother writing a serious cover letter for a minimum wage, part time job.
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ONE FANCY SCHOOL IS IMPRESSIVE ENOUGH, MULTIPLE FANCY SCHOOLS ARE PUSHING IT
The following resume started out ridiculous when the applicant listed his salary requirement in the range of $18,000 to $250,000, and it only got crazier from there.
INSULT YOUR RICH POTENTIAL EMPLOYER
Anyone who has ever read Neil Strauss’ pickup masterpiece, “The Game,” knows that one way to attract mates is to lightly insult them so that they crave your approval. The bold dog walker below looking for a job tried the same tactic by brutally skewering the rich clients he/she wanted to connect with on good ol’ Craigslist.
ATTACH NIC CAGE HERE
Vanessa Hojda applied for an Administrative Assistant position at York University, and she wrote a succint and professional cover letter, which was nothing to laugh at. However, she made a big mistake when she confused her resume with the beautiful mug of one of America’s most beloved action stars.
NUMBER ONE HUSTLER
It’s not easy making money these days. Everyone has a side hustle, but not everyone has a side hustle that you can put on a resume.
THE NON-CONCEITED BRO
It’s amazing how much a personal essay can reveal insights into the writer’s annoyingly arrogant personality, even if he repeatedly tells you that he’s humble.
WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY
Game shows have shown us that people will do anything for the right price, and this Craigslist job listing further proves that principle. For $5, you can get 6 minutes of copywriting, and for $100,000, the poster will scream your name out loud every time he wakes up. Even better, he’ll throw in some sex for free. What a bargain!
Letters/Resumes courtesy of: Imgur, Save My Boredom, Huffington Post
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What are things that turn you off on resumes and cover letters? Let us know in the comments below.Â
