Summary: Why are male lawyers signing up online to be sugar daddies?
We all know law school is expensive and some schools such as Thomas Jefferson School of Law are ridiculously expensive with the near $200,000 debts it leaves students with. Paying back that high tuition and fees is doable with a lucrative but time-sucking law firm job, but for those who aren’t so lucky to land one of those positions, they’re stuck paying tribute to the student loan gods for decades. So with money being an issue, it’s no wonder that a lot of law students turn to the internet to find sugar daddies to pay all their bills.
One way sugar babies meet sugar daddies is through dating websites such as Seeking Arrangement. Seeking Arrangement said in 2016 that almost 5 million women had signed up as sugar babies, young people looking for rich older patrons to provide cash and gifts in exchange for companionship and often times sex. While women certainly can be sugar mamas, more men tend to sign up on the site and others like it.
While money and an elevated lifestyle are reasons for people to become sugar babies, why do wealthy men such as CEOS, lawyers, and doctors choose to become sugar daddies instead of dating “the normal way?”
For over a year, I researched the sugar lifestyle for my new book, The Sugar Baby Club, which is about two college freshmen who become sugar babies in order to fund a trip to Paris. As they get more engrossed in the lifestyle, they begin to teach other girls in their dorm how to snag rich men.
To learn more about the subject, I interviewed various sugar daddies and female sugar babies, and one of the main things they wanted to clarify was that sugar dating was not prostitution, even though money was a big component. Instead, entering a sugar relationship was entering a mutually beneficial partnership and sugar relationships last as long as a regular one versus just a night. Essentially, sugar dating is dating without strings attached and lots and lots of spoiling.
So while it’s easy to figure out why sugar babies sign up, that goes back to the question–why do wealthy and often good-looking men want to be sugar daddies? The following are some of the most popular reasons told to me by straight sugar daddies, and the list is in no particular order.
They aren’t getting sex from their wives.
There are two types of sugar daddies–married/committed ones and single ones. For married guys in sexless partnerships, having a sugar baby is less messy than having an affair, where mistresses might beg for divorces or threaten to tell their lover’s wives. For married lawyers, finding a companion who wants a monthly allowance but understands the relationship’s limitations is a better choice than dealing with a costly divorce.
They don’t believe in monogamy.
Unlike the sexless men mentioned above, some married or coupled up men actually love their partners but still can’t help the urge to stray. Blame it on biology or a sense of entitlement, but either way, these dudes are looking and want to be discrete.
Getting a sugar baby is easier than having a girlfriend because the sugar baby has managed expectations in exchange for their funding. A lawyer with a side-piece girlfriend would end up spending a lot of money on her anyway, but he risks her blabbing to his wife or serious partner. And as we all know, lawyers are cautious people who hate risks.
They’re looking to spice up their sex lives.
Sugar dating websites aren’t just for singles. There are couples signed up as sugar daddy and sugar mama duos, and they’re looking to add a third to spice up their relationship. To those couples wanting to get their freak on, it’s more time efficient (and reputation-saving) to snag a sugar baby than to approach girls in their regular lives.
They don’t want the expectations of a relationship.
For committed men looking for some side fun, becoming a sugar daddy makes sense. But why would a single, wealthy man want to pay a young lady to hang out with him? Isn’t it just easier to meet a lady off of Bumble? Well, for one, throwing money around to get a date to not act clingy or demand a ring one day is worth the cost of a monthly allowance to some. According to Seeking Arrangement, a sugar baby is given on average $3,000 a month, and in bigger markets like New York, girls can command up to $4,000.
The money means nothing to them.
A first-year associate at a BigLaw firm can make $180,000 a year, and partners can make anywhere from $399,000 annually to up to almost $800,000 a year on average. For someone making that much dough, helping out a college student, recent graduate, or someone making a more modest income doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. In fact, the men I interviewed said that they felt good about helping women who needed it, and it actually made them feel even more high-status being a benefactor. Overall, it’s win-win, or the people involved aren’t doing it right.
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