It was so cold one February day in Aberdeen that I saw a solicitor with his hands in his own pocket.
There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge. 
Q: How does an attorney sleep? A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.
This guy walked into a bar and shouted for all to hear, “Lawyers are ASSHOLES!” A man in the back of the...
A lawyer e-mailed a client: “Dear Jennifer: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello,...
What happened to the banker who went to law school? Now she’s a loan shark.
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked “How much is 2+2?”The housewife replies: “Four!” The accountant says: “I think it’s...
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One to climb, one to shake it, and one to...
What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement? A whine cellar.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he...
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea...
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