When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you, it’s...
What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them, but you never see them.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three: One to climb, one to shake it, and one to...
It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common? Only one in two million does any real work.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a Porsche? With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a...
Lawyers be like: I wish you a happy day but in no way guarantee you one. *escapes liability*
What do lawyers do after dates? They lie still.
A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little...
What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them, but you never see them.
“You’re a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me? “Absolutely! What’s the second question?”
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